Friday, May 30, 2014

The Awkward Things You Do That Seem Totally Normal

*Inviting my child to the bathroom so I can poop, because it's ten times easier than trying to concentrate over hysterical crying and bathroom doors being busted down.

*Feeding my child food that has already been somewhat chewed on by me. 

* Being fed food that has been thoroughly chewed up and sucked on by my child.

*Letting him tweak my other nipple while he nurses because it beats him trying to steal mine phone.

*Letting him play with his weenie so I  can have an extra 30 seconds to grab a new diaper.

*Laying with him and pretending I'm  asleep when he wakes up...hoping he will go back to sleep.

* Forget that I'm  video blogging and burp, fart, and pick my wedgie. "Well this video is trashed!"

*Ask  my child "What does the cow say" 157 times in a day....I bet he concerned about how forgetful I am. "WOMAN! How do you still not know what the damn cow says!?!?!"

*Letting my child practice brushing his teeth with my toothbrush, while Im in the shower, and he starts scrubbing the walls with it.

*Coaching him while he poops and holding his hand.

*Reading "At the Zoo With Teddy" while I'm pooping.

*Playing Peekaboo .....While I'm pooping

*Making every single thing a game so he will engage.

*Having one boob three times the size of the other because I fell asleep while he was  nursing.

*Dropping my phone on his face....

*Referring to him as an "it" and not blinking an eye.

So there ya have it. There are probably a million more and maybe I'll add more at a later time. I know for a fact that I am not alone on ANY of these. What's your awkward moment?

1 comment:

  1. Using a hand pump in a honey bucket while working as the manager of a beer garden for a concert festival when my kid was four weeks old. What had to be done was done... :-)